WELL MY EX HASN'T TRIED TO CALL ME OR EMAIL ME SO I GUESS THATS GOOD,I GUESS HE FELT GUILTY ABOUT WHAT HE HAD DONE AND HAD TO TELL ME.WHATEVER,I REALLY COULD CARE LESS ABOUT THE LOSER ANYWAY,BETTER THAT HE LEAVES ME ALONE WHO WANTS TO BE WITH SOME1 WHO SLEPT WITH YOUR FRIENDS BEHIND YOUR BACK ANYWAY.
IT'S ALWAYS THEY CHEAT,LIE,OR ARE ON DRUGS,ISNT THERE ANY NORMAL MEN IN THIS WORLD?I HAVE YET TO FIND ONE.
CAR IS SUPPOSED TO BE LEGAL NEXT WEEK THAT WILL TAKE HIS WHOLE SHITTY PAY CHECK,I FOUND HIM ANOTHER GREAT JOB...PAYING 20+ A HR BUT HE KEEPS MAKING EXCUSES.Y SOME1 WHO CAN MAKE 20 AN HR WOULD WANNA WORK FOR 9 IS BEYOND ME.CAN'T EVEN PAY THE BILLS WITH WHAT HE IS MAKING,AND AS FAR AS CHRISTMAS..I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO.HE KEEPS SAYING HOW ALL THIS STUFF IS WRONG WITH MY CAR,THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THE DAMN THING,HE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT TRADING IT...NOW IF HE DOES THAT WELL MY STEPDAD BE VERY PISSED OFF,BUT I THINK THATS WHAT BF WANTS...TO CUT ME OFF FROM MY FAMILY,WHICH IS ALREADY WORKING...NO ONE EVER CALLS ME ANYMORE..MAYBE I JUST WON'T GO FOR CHRISTMAS.ONLY REASON BF LIKES GOING IS FOR THE 1,000 I GET FOR CHRISTMAS....THO I MAKE SURE I SPEND MOST OF IT B4 COMMING HOME BECAUSE I KNOW HE WILL STEAL IT.
I GUESS IF HE DONT GET A BETTER JOB I AM GOING TO HAVE TO GO FIND A JOB NEXT WEEK BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL WE ARE GOING TO GET ANYWHERE...I WANNA MOVE BACK TO WHERE ALEXIS IS I MISS HER SO MUCH...THO WE GET EACH OTHER IN TROUBLE LOL...BUT WITH OUT HER I DUNNO WHAT I WOULD DO.I'D BE LOST WITH OUT HER SHE HELPS ME SURVIVE THESE DAYS WITH THIS DICKHEAD.

WELL THE TRUTH FINALLY CAME OUT LAST NIGHT,I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW HIM AND I GOT ON THE SUBJECT OF CHEATING,BUT I TOLD HIM I CHEATED ON HIM AFTER BEING WITH HIM 3 YEARS AND THEN HE TOLD ME HOW HE CHEATED ON ME SEVERAL TIMES.AND WITH PEOPLE I KNEW TOO,AND ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIEND.I FEEL LIKE I AM GOING TO PUKE...I WISH HE NEVER TOLD ME THEN I'D BE OK,BUT NOW I KNOW SO NOW THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING,I CAN'T TALK TO HIM NO MORE I DESERVE BETTER THEN THAT.THE FUCKED UP PART ABOUT IT ALL IS HE THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY,SAID HOW HE DID MY FRIEND ME AND HIS EX ALL IN 1 WEEK,I'M SO PISSED RIGHT NOW.WHAT A DOG!TRUE I CHEATED ON HIM BUT I NEVER THOUGHT FOR A MINUTE HE CHEATED ON ME AND LET ALONE WITH MY FRIEND NOR HIS EX WIFE.I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN ABOUT THE FRIEND WHEN I CAUGHT HER LEAVING HIM MESSAGES ON HIS CELL PHONE,THAT PUT A END TO OUR FRIENDSHIP WHEN I CAUGHT HER DOING THAT.HE TOLD ME HE FELT BETTER FOR TELLING ME ALL HIS SECRETS..WELL I AM GLAD FOR HIM,MADE ME FEEL LIKE SHIT...BUT I GUESS THATS WHAT I GET.THIS IS WHY I HAVE NO FRIENDS LEFT,MOST ARE LIL SLUTS WHO JUST WANNA SLEEP WIT YOUR MAN!SO HE ASKED ME IF I AM STILL COMMING TO SEE HIM AND IF I AM STILL GOING TO TALK 2 HIM...I TOLD HIM I DON'T THINK SO AND THEN I SAID MY LAST GOODBYE TO HIM.

WELL FINALLY WE HAVE FOOD IN THE HOUSE,COOKED DINNER BUT I DIDNT EVEN BOTHER EATING ANYTHING,MY NERVES ARE ALWAYS OUT OF WHACK SO I FIND MY SELF EATING LESS AND LESS EVERYDAY.I LIVE ON CIGS AND COFFEE,AND DIET PILLS WHEN I CAN AFFORD THEM.
STILL HAVE NO MONEY BUT HE SOLD SOME OF HIS STUFF TO GET US A LIL MONEY TO GET US BY TILL HE GETS HIS PAY CHECK,BUT HIS WHOLE CHECK WILL BE GOING ON THE ELETRIC BILL.
ALEXIS SAYS MAYBE THINGS WILL GET BETTER BUT EVERYTIME I THINK THAT IT DON'T HAPPEN.HONESTLY WISH I NEVER LEFT MY EX,NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I LIVED LIKE I DO NOW...BUT YET I STAY...SO IT IS MY OWN FAULT AND I KNOW ONLY I CAN CHANGE THAT.

WELL WE TOOK OUR SON OUT TRICK OR TREATING,THO HE HAD 2 WEAR THE SAME COSTUME AS LAST YEAR SINCE OF COURSE WE ARE ONCE AGAIN BROKE.WE SPENT AN HOUR OUT..I WAS SHOCKED HE EVEN TOOK US SINCE LAST YEAR HE TOOK US TO 3 HOUSES AND THAT WAS IT...

WELL HE FINALLY GOT A JOB,THO THE PAY SUCKS BUT ITS MORE THEN WHAT WE GOT NOW SO IT WILL HELP.I FOUND HIM A BETTER JOB THAT HE IS SUPPOSED TO CHECK INTO TOMORROW.SO I DUNNO,WE SO BEHIND IN BILLS AND HAVE NO FOOD AT ALL,YESTERDAY MY SON ATE BROCOLI FOR DINNER,NOW THATS REALLY SAD,TOMORROW WE ARE GOING TO THE CHURCH FOR FOOD,IF HE ETS HOME ON TIME.....WE WERE SUPPOSED 2 GO LAST WEEK..BUT HE WAS TO BUSY WITH HIS OWN LIFE TO WORRY ABOUT US HAVING FOOD AT HOME..SO TODAY ALL I HAVE EATEN IS A EGG SANDWICH,CANT EAT NOTHING CAUSE WHATS HERE IS FOR MY SON,I'LL STAVE FIRST B4 HE HAS TO SUFFER ANY.

CARS STILL NOT LEGAL N I WISH HE WOULD HURRY UP WITH IT BECAUSE I'M GOING OUT FOR THE NITE WITH ALEXIS.HE DONT SEEM TO LIKE THAT TO MUCH AND HE KEEPS TRYING TO ASK ME IF HE CAN GO TO..HAHA NO WAY!!I REMIND HIM OF THE TIME HE TOOK OFF AND SAID HE'D BRING ME THE CAR BACK SO I COULD GO OUT TO AND HE NEVER CAME BACK TILL THE NEXT DAY,SO NOW IT'S MY TURN.

THE EX B/F AND I TALKED FOR ABOUT 2 HOURS LAST NIGHT,I REALLY DUNNO WHAT TO DO ABOUT HIM,HE IS SUPPOSED 2 BE GOING WITH ALEXIS AND I WHEN WE GO OUT.SO GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE A GOOD TIME AND ENJOY MY DAY WITH HIM,EVEN THO IT'S WRONG,SOMETIMES I FEEL GUILTY,BUT THEN I JUST THINK ABOUT THE HELL THIS GUY HAS PUT ME THRU AND TELL MYSELF HE DESERVES IT.

MAYBE THINGS WILL GET BETTER ONE DAY I REALLY DONT KNOW,I DONT THINK IT COULD GET MUCH WORSE THEN IT IS RIGHT NOW THO.LIFE IS HORRIBLE RIGHT NOW,I'M SO STRESSED OUT AND IF MY HOME LIFE ISNT ENOUGH ONE OF MY GRANDFATHERS HAS 3 WEEKS LEFT TO LIVE,AND THE OTHER HAS CANCER,AND GRANDMOM HAS A BRAIN TUMOR:=(
I TOLD MY BF HE BETTER GET ME BACK HOME TO MY FAMILY WHEN MY GRANDFATHER DIES,HE SAID HE'D PUT ME ON A BUS..OH WHAT FUN 16 HOURS ON A BUS WITH A 2 YEAR OLD,YEAH RIGHT!

DOES ANY1 EVEN KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LAY THERE IN BED NITE AND DAY AND JUST WISH AND HOPE YOU WOULD NEVER WAKE UP?WELL THATS ME I WISH THIS LIFE WOULD JUST END,IT WILL NEVER BE BETTER NOR DO I EVEN FEEL LIKE THERE IS ANY HOPE LEFT FOR ME HERE.I HAVE NOTHING,NOR WILL I EVER.THIS LIFE SUCKS ASS,I THINK THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME LIVING IS MY SON,I KNOW I CAN NEVER LEAVE HIM BECAUSE THEN HE WOULD JUST BE LEFT WITH A SORRY ASS PIECE OF SHIT CRACK HEAD PILL POPPER DRINKING LOW LIFE OF A FATHER.SORRIEST PIECE OF SHIT I HAVE EVER KNOWN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE NO GOOD FOR NOTHING!NOT A DAMN THING!

WHAT THE FUCK IS HE IN LALA LAND?WE HAVE NO MONEY AND HE BUYS LOTTERY TICKETS LIKE HE GONNA WIN A MILLION?WAKE THE HELL UP U IDIOT,GET A DAMN JOB U SORRY ASS MF'ER!!SOMETHING HAS TO BE WRONG WITH THIS GUYS BRAIN,HE AINT RIGHT

LAST FRIDAY THE DVD PLAYER AND RADIO/CD PLAYER WENT TO THE PAWN SHOP,I DOUT HE WILL GET IT OUT SO I GUESS ITS GONE.

THE CAR HAS BEEN FIXED A WEEK BUT HAVE NO MOENY TO MAKE IT LEGAL,HE HASNT EVEN WENT TO GO LOOK FOR A JOB EITHER.I FOUND HIM 1 AND HE SAID HE WENT TO THE APPOINTMENT BUT THE GUY CALLED OUR HOUSE 5 MIN BEFORE HE GOT HOME AND ASKED ME WHERE HE WAS....SO WHEN HE WALKED IN I ASKED HIM IF HE WENT AND HE SAID HE DID...LIAR...I EVEN FOUND THE RESUMES UNDER THE DRIVERS SEAT IN THE CAR,WHEN THE HELL HE GONNA FIGURE IT OUT THAT I FIND OUT EVERYTHING HE DOES?

SO TODAY HE IS OUT WORKING FOR SOME GUY WHO DONT PAY HIM....OR SO HE SAYS HE DONT...I THINK HE BACK ON THE CRACK..HE'S DOING SOMETHING,ARGHHHHHHHHH GOD HELP ME I CAN'T DO THIS NO MORE!!!!!